God is…

God is so good. God is moving. God is real. God is amazing. God is alive. I could go on and on, but the best way to describe Him? INDESCRIBABLE.

Ignoring the fact that I have issues expressing myself with my words, I cannot accurately portray my excitement for what He is going to do on campus. I’ve been on campus for only a week. However, I can just sense Him moving. We (small group leaders) made a big, in my opinion, announcement today about how we are now going to have a sophomore class family group and a junior/senior class family group. What I sensed to be a hushed excitement in the room is exactly what I felt about this. It’s exciting! I can’t wait. New leadership on the team, new structure, and a new passion for Him. It’s a risk, but I think God will work no matter what.  TCF is such a huge blessing in my life, and I know that it can grow so much more. I just want to join in on what God’s already doing as I try my best to be His humble servant. Surrendering it all is a challenge, but it’s what I strive to do. He’s worth it.

“Tear Down the Walls” has been sitting in my Itunes for quite a while now, and recently it came up on shuffle. I’ve been listening to it non-stop ever since, but I couldn’t figure out why until I listened with my heart. It’s my vision for Tufts and for my life. As I’ve tried to share in the countless, blessed conversations I’ve had so far about how God has transformed me, this song powerfully sums up how I’m feeling. He’s placed certain people in my life for a very specific purpose, and I can’t wait to see how He works in those relationships. Praise Him ahead of time for moving in my life and on campus this semester! God is bigger.

“Cause I can’t shake this fire burning deep inside my heart

This life is Yours and hope is rising
As Your glory floods our hearts
Let love tear down these walls
That all creation would
Come back to You
It’s all for You

Your Name is glorious
Glorious
Your love is changing us
Calling us
To worship in spirit and in truth
As all creation returns to You

Oh for all the sons and daughters
Who are walking in the darkness
You are calling us to lead them back to You
We will see Your spirit rising
As the lost come out of hiding
Every heart will see this hope we have in You“

Found Faithful

Wow. I have lots of mood swings apparently (compare the following post to this one), but whatever. God has been doing amazing things.

As I was struggling with chemistry, One Thing Remains by Jesus Culture got me through as I meditated on the lyrics:

your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me

My perception of reality is different because of my faith. It forms who I am. I had been trying to find God as I struggled with my ‘failures’, and I definitely found Him. I couldn’t feel Him as much as I wanted before, but at Bible study, I was reminded that sometimes you don’t praise God because you feel Him, you feel God because you praise Him. After that study, I comforted myself knowing that He uses our failures to lead us to places He wants us to be, which makes us successful.

Even though I had learned all of that and was comforted by it, He helped me take another step. I realized that I needed to praise Him ahead of time for helping me ace the chem final. Right now, I’m thanking Him for the amazing grade on chem. Just a little step of faith I learned from my mom. With this attitude, I’ve come to hold onto the truth that God is in control and that His faithfulness is true. With a blessed conversation, I now know that it’s not that I failed and He’s going to make them successes; they already WERE successes because they happened in His will. I had been asking for mercy from what I deserved instead of for grace for what I didn’t deserve (hope that came out right). I thought I was failing, but I’m succeeding. I’m actually winning the battles, and this is just a small blip in the grand scheme of things. He will come through in all things for He is a faithful God.

Today, I was…happy. I was so overjoyed with the successes I thought were failures, that I couldn’t hold in my praises anymore. All I wanted was to dance and sing to Him, so I worshiped Him with a joyous heart. I’m not dreading studying for chemistry because I already know that I am going to do wonderfully. No stress. Just happiness. I’m going back to the heart of worship. I’ve let go of the guilt and the worry for we are told to “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you” -Psalm 55:22. He is soooooo good.

Thank you, God, for giving me a joyous and anxiety-free heart. “For great is your love, reaching to the heavens, your faithfulness reaches to the skies” -Psalm 57:10. Thank you for your unfailing love and your faithfulness. I want to be found faithful.

Shadow of Your Wings

I have been struggling lately with the nonexistent balance of classes and planning winter break and my spiritual life and and and…the list could go on. However, I’m trying to see it more as blessings in disguise. I’m having moments of extreme stress that I want to yell. I’m having moments when I want to just cry. Or just lay down and listen to music. Or be with friends that I’m struggling to find time to hang out with. Or just simply think and be alone with the jumble that is my brain right now. However, I remembered for the um-teenth time at family group (new name for small group, heehee) that God is in control. I can’t do anything in my own power, I need Him to help me and I need to give Him my worries and my stress. He will lift that burden off of me and give me the wonderful gift of peace. He has a plan for me, and I don’t need to keep worrying about planning it all out myself. If I ask Him, He will most definitely answer. “Under the shadow of Your wings, I will find my rest.” Amen to that!