Stand By Him

I’ve been taking the past few days to reflect on my semester. I haven’t had time to think about the whole of 2011 yet, but that post will come tomorrow (technically still 2011 central time).

This Fall ’11 was the best semester so far, I think. It was a time of growth and love and community. The two main things God taught me was the power of honesty and the necessity of community. The two go hand in hand really.

When I was honest with myself and what God was really trying to teach me, it allowed my heart more room to expand and grow into the heart of Jesus. I really tried to focus on His face this semester instead of my surroundings, and I think He rewarded me. Though I had questions about pre-med and academics, He gave me hope for the future of my academic career with my new child development major that truly gives me joy. ”Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.” -Psalm 105:4. I was nowhere near perfect in maintaining that goal though. Every time I got distracted by ministry/friends/things people said/situations, I got discouraged and hopeless. Looking away from His face is simply no good. That was an essential lesson. I would say that wraps up the first part of the semester.

Now the epitome of honesty was my No More Hiding post. It got an incredible 300+ views in like 3 days. Every day since October 31st when I first posted it and I take a look at my site stats, it seems like at least one person clicks it every day. It’s crazy awesome. I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised to get a random 75 views on my blog one day when I have made changes to make this blog really public. Just go to
http://www.relevantmagazine.com
. [it's an incredible site about God and progressive culture, I highly recommend it] Scroll down the main page until you get to community: member blogs on the left. Yeah, I’m sure a lot of you reading this right now got my link from there. It’s been great to get comments from people I have never met who are telling me how blessed they have been by it and how they want to forward it to their friends. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! Plus, he even connected me with a friend who graduated last year from another school through that relevant magazine link. God’s body (Romans 12:4-6) is so cool.

That brings me to my next big lesson: the importance of community. A huge portion of my classmates were abroad, but that didn’t seem to matter (thanks to technology). Whether they were across the world or 2 doors down, my family was there for me. He had prepared me in the first part of the semester to remember how important it was in every situation to focus on Him…nobody else. I found the reward in that and reminded myself to never forget it. However, He doesn’t just give me Himself, He gives me a family of brothers and sisters too! It’s hard for me to trust people, but after I opened up to everyone with that post admitting the true nature of my academic situation, it gave me such deeper fellowship. As I was honest with them, they were more honest with me. Yet again, God was preparing me to really find those who I could count on, who were willing to stick by me no matter what came my way. Guess what? Something came my way. I found myself in a extremely trying situation. It didn’t take me more than a second to turn to those who I knew I could cry with, process with, anything. “I love people who can make me laugh, even when I don’t want to smile.” That defines these people. They were willing to do anything to support me. How blessed am I to have them!

Academics, spirituality, friendship> all things that seemed to bless me more than I can seem to understand right now despite the hard times. To gain success in each of those spheres, I had to endure much pain and confusion. Something beautiful came from each though.  ”These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” -1 Peter 1:7. Academic probation/bio major/general academic struggles led to me finding more value in my identity as God’s daughter, not in my grades or successes. I managed to find a passion for children that God put in me along the way too. Spiritually I became a stronger, more faithful woman of God. I found friends I can trust and lean on. I’d have to say that was a great semester.

My semester’s testimony is wrapped up in this verse:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

All thanks and glory to God. My Teacher, My Savior, and My Friend.

“You are everything You’ve promised
Your faithfulness is true
And we’re desperate for Your presence
All we need is You…and it’s You we adore”

Lemon Drop and some other ‘L’ words

“A lemon drop. They’re a kind of Muggle sweet I’m rather fond of.” -Albus Dumbledore

L is for the way you…j.k. Rowling. Oh man I’m getting too much sleep at home. L is for..hm…the long-awaited Harry Potter post. Long-awaited because I’ve been wanting to write one since the summer when you may have noticed a few references. God truly did speak to me through Harry Potter when I was actually trying to avoid Him.

My mom didn’t really approve of my goal of re-reading the entire series this past summer, but it’s one of those pleasure reads that she can’t keep me from. Unfortunately, I had about 400 pages left the day before I left Tufts and did not find any time during the semester to properly dive back in. Just finished the other day so here’s my attempt at a reflection on a whole series worth of awesomeness.

Light

“There is nothing to be feared from a body, Harry, any more than there is anything to be feared from the darkness. Lord Voldemort, who of course secretly fears both, disagrees. But once again he reveals his own lack of wisdom. It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.”

Light vs. dark. A theme very present throughout the series that gave me some things to think about in my own fight against darkness while following Jesus. “No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light” -Luke 8:16. I took a night run today and was thinking about this concept of how easily a small light can penetrate the darkness. One small hope can do so much. There might be a million things that keep me in the dark afraid to go out, but even with a little light of a living hope, I can shine! That’s what I want to be able to do for Jesus wherever I go. Fear can be so paralyzing, and faith is so motivating and solid. A light of faith maybe?

Longing

“And now, Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”

No way you can read the series and not want to be a part of something adventurous. We all long for something more, something greater than us. Before Harry knew he was a wizard, he wanted so much to believe that he would leave Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia’s horrid care. The series is full of his longing for adventure and desire to take action. ‘“I don’t go looking for trouble,” said Harry, nettled. “Trouble usually finds me.”’ That probably has a role in it too, but don’t we all dream about our futures and wonder what life will throw at us next? I definitely can’t imagine a life full of stories that Harry could tell, but who knows? I wouldn’t exactly have any substance for this blog if God wasn’t writing my life story. Plus, He has a lot of ideas for the chapter I’m in now and for the ones to come.  They might not be about fighting dragons, saving a hippogriff, or saving the wizarding world, but in my story of life I might have some adventures to rival them. Might not be as magical, or maybe they will…in a different sense of the word. With God anything’s possible.

Loyalty

Something I always seem to desire: best friends. I’ve blogged about it before. Something along the lines of: I asked God why I didn’t have someone who would always be there for me no matter what and who I’d always want at my birthday party, then He reminded me that He’s more than enough and that He’s the best friend I’ve always wanted. Then I feel guilty and remember how great it is that God is always by my side. Not to mention how ungrateful I am to worry about such things. Well, I read about the adventures of Ron, Hermione, and Harry and how undying and true their friendship is, whether enjoying themselves in Hogsmeade or escaping on a dragon. I kinda reallyyyyy want that.

All my favorite characters besides the trio (Neville, Hagrid, Dobby) are very loyal to Harry. That’s something I realize I value from reading the series in my wiser years: loyalty. Friends who will support you when you’re being torn down or who will rebuke you when you need to hear it. ‘“There are all kinds of courage,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. I therefore award ten points to Mr. Neville Longbottom.”’ Harry in turn is also very loyal to Dumbledore…’“First of all, Harry, I want to thank you,” said Dumbledore, eyes twinkling again. “You must have shown me real loyalty down in the Chamber. Nothing but that could have called Fawkes to you.”’

Even though I still want someone to call a best friend who’s not God himself, I must admit that I do have amazing brothers and sisters in Christ who do rebuke, support, hug, and love me. That should be more than enough for me, God + His body. Especially since I really didn’t have that in high school. And just as I love the Dumbledore+Harry moments of loyalty, that’s kinda how I’m trying to live for God right? I’m trying to carry His name wherever I go and be a loyal representative of Christ on the earth.

“Friendship is not about who you have known the longest, or who came first or who cares the best; it is about who came and never left.” -Not sure where I got this from

Love

“I cared about you too much,” said Dumbledore simply. “I cared more for your happiness than your knowing the truth, more for your peace of mind than my plan, more for your life than the lives that might be lost if the plan failed. In other words, I acted exactly as Voldemort expects we fools who love to act.”

Naturally, the power of Lily Potter’s sacrificial love for Harry made me think about Jesus’s love. I’ve talked about that enough on this blog I think…actually maybe not enough considering the magnitude of this love…but in relation to Harry, a love like that really does empower and sustain. It is extremely powerful in Harry’s story, and Voldemort never really understood it. Harry probably never really understood it. Just like the spiritual realm we live in right now, God seems to be the only One who understands, and that’s okay with me. I’m happy to live all of my days on earth and later in eternity trying to know Him and His love better.

Well there are definitely people who are way nerdier than me when it comes to HP, but I did make a document with all my favorite quotes as I re-read. Shoot me an email if you want a copy

I am tempted to let go of the ‘best friend’ thing and stop thinking about some other stuff I mentioned (that hopefully did not make this too corny a post), but Psalm 37:4 says “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” So we’ll see. Plus, these thoughts are very real, right?

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” -Albus Dumbledore

And JUST because my blog doesn’t make it seem natural for me to put great youtube videos up, I shall take my chance now.

Love Came Down

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

I think today might have been the best Christmas. There were no gift openings, no crazy events, but it was somehow special.

I’ve had my share of memorable Christmas memories. For instance, Santa himself wrote me a personal letter in this amazing font (probably found on a computer) that made it completely legit. Santa told me that I had the best Mom in the world and that I had to take good care of her. Another year, I got a matching Little Mermaid tent and sleeping bag. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even like Little Mermaid that much but I ended up spending many hours in that little tent. Then once my brother came along, I found a joy in bringing him the magic of Santa. One night, I stayed up maybe all night with my equally inexperienced mom building his Little Tikes Jeep that went at the amazing speed of 3 mph. Another year this weird new phenomenon called “The Elf on the Shelf” or something like that started. This little elf doll, which could not be touched by the children at risk of its magic running out, would sit somewhere in the house watching to make sure the kid’s being good. Then as any good messenger would, he returns back to the North Pole to report to Santa. Anyhoo, the point is that my brother would feed the elf and write it notes so I had to make sure the peanuts went away and that a note was written back in a different handwriting from my own. Then my brother started wondering why the elf wouldn’t move around the house like other kids’ elves would each night, so I would SPRINT to move the elf in the morning when I woke up just in case my brother hadn’t seen it yet. The things I do for him. I digress.

So now this year…what changed? My brother no longer believes in Santa. We (my mom, bro, and I) have grown deeper roots in our faiths to fully and completely celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. That a Person who loved the world so much came down to earth so humbly just to express His love for us. That person’s name is Jesus. As one song goes, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. Sadly though, many children who experience the joy of this season don’t actually know what CHRISTmas is about. A baby born in a manger…it’s a story many of us are familiar with, but many still don’t understand how amazing it is. Love came down. That’s a reason to celebrate all year, not just in this season.

Yes, I get slightly disgruntled when I see all the materialism and greediness that surrounds the season, but wasn’t that me just a few years ago? And probably still me just a bit toned down? What changed was that I realized what the true meaning is…and that’s when my eyes were opened and my heart was changed. That’s why causes like clean water are truly what I want to give to (I must admit that the ‘active citizen’ thing at Tufts has also had an effect on me). Like this one that you should give to:
http://mycharitywater.org/tuftsforcleanwater
. I didn’t expect anything for Christmas. I was perfectly content to be with my family. However, a big blessing poured in from a sister in Christ tonight and I found lodging to go to Passion 2012! Just signed up! [my mom insisted a few days ago that I go for a refresher if I found lodging since she was planning on going to Atlanta anyways ] I started 2011 with Passion Conference in Atlanta, and I can’t wait to start 2012 the same way.

This was a special Christmas. It was the seemingly little things I think. No sleepy sprinting to the tree to see what gifts Santa brought. It definitely brought a big smile to my brother’s face in his early childhood, but this morning we just got ready for church. We shared the joy of Christmas morning with our church family, recognizing the joy that Christ came for us. The day continued just as any other day though really. In a weird way, that’s how I want Christmas to be. Yes, it’s a great way for us to gather with our families and friends, but if I remember the Love that should be celebrated today, that’s something I should remember every time I breathe. I felt so loved by my mom when she cooked a full Christmas dinner for me since I wasn’t home for Thanksgiving, and it was totally unnecessary but that’s just one way she wanted to express her love. And she’s just my mom…my Father in heaven has a love for me that is so much bigger and deeper and stronger than my mom’s love can ever be. I should feel so loved by God all the time!

Always serve, always rejoice in the day that I have, always LOVE. A lesson for all seasons. Merry Christmas everyone.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” -John 3:16