Hello Love

I don’t know if I’ve talked about it before in my blog, but I never had Christian community until I came to Tufts. At least not like this. I never had people my age who were followers of Christ, so TCF was definitely a different experience for me. I saw what it looked like to live out my faith through my friends. I saw what it looked like to be intentional about my faith in everything I did. They were tangible representations of Christ’s love for me.

TCF-Tufts Christian Fellowship-is a special community. I don’t know how else to describe it. Our purposes are bigger than just us. We don’t have to figure out everything on our own because someone much bigger than us is guiding our path. When it comes to ‘leadership positions’, it’s not for the sake of our resumes but to bring His kingdom to Tufts. To be used by God because we love Him. I remember one TCF leader meeting when I was super moved by how we concluded our meeting. I was reminded of despite how much and how long we try to evaluate where the fellowship is going and what our goals are, we submit to the all-knowing God in prayer. That’s not how normal groups end meetings.

As I’m here during the summer, I realize how Tufts just isn’t the same for me without TCF. I mean, yes, there are a lot of people here, but it’s just not the same vibe. I’m sure summer small group would have helped, but I have class during that time…anyways, it’s easy to just throw out that acronym a lot, but TCF is more than just a name. It’s the body of Christ. We’re children of light on this campus. We have a big responsibility…to be His tools as we love Him more and invite others to experience that love with us.

I am so happy to say that so many of you have helped me understand how immense and deep Christ’s love is for me. A love that is for the whole human race. When you treat me to something when I totally don’t deserve it, I understand grace a bit more. When you forgive me for how I’ve hurt you, I understand forgiveness a bit more. When you encourage me and give me hope again in the darkness, I understand hope a bit more. When you love me, I understand His love a bit more.

Now that’s what I wanted to get at. Love. It is such a powerful force, and it can overcome so many barriers in our lives. In relationships. That’s the basis of my faith. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” -Romans 5:8 . There are so many verses about His love, but I’m sure you understand what I’m getting at.

I’m so encouraged though to see how much everyone wants to see TCF grow. It’s not a perfect community and there are many things that could change. However, I think that just shows how much people care and love this community. Enough to accept that it isn’t perfect. What we can do as we go into our next few years at Tufts is be united in our effort. Communication is key. And of course, to follow the Bible: “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”- Colossians 3:14. Communication. Trust. Vulnerability. Unity. LOVE.

I’m so thankful for each of my brothers and sisters and for the special community that is the body of Christ at Tufts. It always brings a smile to my face. (like the Chris Tomlin song below…heehee)

At Tufts, there is love.

Just Gotta Have Faith

I haven’t posted in a while, so I’ll update y’all on what God has been doing in my life.

I’m taking some summer classes, genetics and general physiology to be exact. Nbd.

Actually, it is ending up to be quite a big deal. I seem to struggle a lot academically, and I understand that for the past two years, God has been humbling me because I was quite the snotty, I-know-everything kind of high-school student according to my mom. However, this summer was supposed to be different. God was supposed to start making things change. Why hasn’t He? What is he up to? This isn’t fair, God. I feel like You’ve humbled me so much that I have nowhere left to go but back up. You’ve promised me that things were going to change…so…what’s going on?

I was frustrated, and at some points, I still do doubt Him and I get afraid of what might happen. Doubt, fear, uncertainty, worry…all these things God doesn’t want me to feel because, I mean, of course He can do it. What exactly is He doing though? He’s breaking down the remaining bits of me that wants to idolize success and achievement. The bit of me that thinks I can do it in my own strength and power. He has made this situation (taking 2 classes that are quite demanding) so impossible for me to trust my own abilities so that I would have no other option but to completely depend on Him. “He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.” -Proverbs 28:26. I must embrace the victory He has already won on the cross. I must embrace grace. I must trust Him because there is no other choice. I must remember that I am redeemed.

He sees all my struggles, He sees my every breath, my every move. As usual, Pastor Dave’s sermon was perfect for me. It just reaffirmed all the lessons I was learning. He’s smoothing out my rough edges, He’s maturing me through these struggles so that I can behold the greatness He has in store for me as His daughter, as His princess. “Pain might not look like love at first, but it’s God’s way of saving us.” So what’s the point of comparing myself to others and trying to determine what’s ‘fair’ when God is doing this for Anisha? Thank you, God, for using Pastor Dave and his humility.

It’s easy to say, “Yeah, of course I trust God.” However, when I look into my heart, I can see that I still need to work on fully trusting God. And what’s more is that He doesn’t really want my achievements and my ‘works’ if He doesn’t have me. He wants me. He wants a relationship with me. That’s all I really need and all I really want. I will glorify Him through what I do, I’ll love Him more than anything, and be in His arms and His presence…so, I can’t understand everything He’s doing right now, but I know that things will be more than okay because He “works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” -Romans 8:28. I don’t need to see change according to my standards, because His ways are so much better. I just gotta have faith. Let go of the guilt, let go of the shame, and embrace the intimate friendship I have with Him. He just wants me, not who I want to be.  (listen to the song Touch: http://ampmovement.bandcamp.com/, and I totally recommend their music, they’re awesome)

‘But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.’ -2 Corinthians 12:9