So I tripped coming out of that last semester and barely retained my footing, but after reflecting a bit more, I have realized that I have SO much to be extremely thankful for. God is so good. He has blessed me with the chance to go to school in the first place, He has answered prayers from high school about finding good friends, He has given me opportunities to travel around the world, He has been there through the rough times, He has used me as His tool, and He has promised me more abundant blessings.
The friends I love. Not always sure why.
He has humbled me by showing me what true success according to His standards, not the world’s. I already know next year is going to be a time of restoration and joy, and I can’t wait to see what God has planned for me. I want to walk into the new year with courage, strength, and peace that only He can provide. God has been there through everything, and I know that the crazy love that He has poured down on the world is something I will strive and fail to reciprocate. I’m so ready.
Lately I’ve been feeling like praising Him all the time. I can’t really explain it, but through the hard times (like exams) and the good times, He has been there. What other reason do I need? I praised Him ahead of time for doing well on one exam, and He came through. He took all my worries then, and the same is happening with chem. Even when I started to worry today, He immediately responded with James 1: 5-6 which says “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” I will ask with an unwavering faith for Him to come through for chem, knowing that whatever I do will lead to success in His plan. He gave me this verse that’s perfect for how I want to live everyday: “My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long” -Psalm 71:8.
Remembering that verse will help me to focus on Him, to be humble in His presence. I continue to disappoint myself, but I can stand unashamed, in my brokenness complete. People I care so deeply for will continue to disappoint me, but His love NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. fails. What more do I need than to worship You, Lord? Only You Lord. It’s all I need.
Sorry if this post is confusing and/or link-ridden.
What do I have EVERY, SINGLE DAY that I always take for granted? Water. “Dirty water and lack of a toilet and proper hygiene kill 3.3 million people around the world annually, most of them children under age five.” -(when you have time, read this article: http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2010/04/water-slaves/rosenberg-text/1)
There’s been a combination of things in my life that has gotten me thinking about what God is saying. There’s this mycharity:water campaign with my fellowship (please donate! watch the video too http://mycharitywater.org/p/campaign?campaign_id=11033), I wrote my community health paper on water problems in Bangladesh, I read Mountains beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder (http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=165796730129297), I had conversations about what it means to truly serve with love, and I think I did great on my community health exam. As I write this post, now I can add that it’s interesting I named my blog categories “Living Water.” Maybe all of this is just God saying that a community health major would be good, or maybe that He’s revealing a little more of His plan for me. Being Paul Farmer seems impossible in my own power, but I know that “With man this is impossible, but with God allthings are possible.” -Matthew 19:26
It felt so good after that exam. I haven’t felt like that for academics in a long time, and I know it was God. He got me through the all-nighter, and with my attitude of praising Him ahead of time for doing well on the exam, He definitely responded. Praise Him! Gonna do the same thing for chem. I’ve been reflecting on the semester, and I just know that God has grown me so much and that I’ve really changed since I’ve been at Tufts.
Even with all these feelings about what God is trying to say, I know He will provide the answer. My jam for the week has all the words I need to remember for now: “Who you love, I’ll love. How you serve, I’ll serve. If this life I lose, I will follow you.”
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” -Matthew 16:24
