Safe

Answer to prayer via Facebook?! Man, He has continued to answer in unexpected ways…

So since my last post that was a disorganized, emotional mess (click to read it here!), I’ve been praying just to have something to comfort me. Telling people my problems can only do so much. Yes it’s relieving to rant and to hear what they have to say, but they won’t be able to understand everything. It was amazing though to see how many people made themselves available to me, and just shows how wonderfully blessed I am. Just sayin’. Even with them there, I needed an everlasting peace and comfort in my heart…

I was on Facebook as usual while doing homework, and a sister posted a song. I usually don’t listen to the songs immediately, but this time I did. That was no coincidence. The lyrics were amazingly perfect. Here, take a listen first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciW8r-5kCDY

What I wrote in my last post: I’m overwhelmed with feelings or I feel drained of feelings…It just seems like everything’s falling apart. However, I know He’s holding my world in His hands.

Lyrics of this song that are a DIRECT ANSWER to what I wrote, not necessarily the words I used to pray…God knows what I’m going through better than I even know:

To the one who’s dreams are falling all apart/ And all you’re left with is a tired and broken heart [...] You will be safe in His arms/ ’Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart/ This is the promise He made/ He will be with you always/ When everything is falling apart/ You will be safe in His arms [...] These are the arms that were nailed to a cross to break our chains and set us free

Friends, I don’t know how it can be more obvious how God answers and meets us in the hardest times. I know that it’s different from experiencing it yourself, but He is real. I just want to thank Him for continuing to be my comfort. I will try to remember these words throughout all hardships, and to thank Him for them. He makes me stronger, and He holds me so tight in His arms that I have just enough room to breathe. He’ll never let me go.

Thank You for forgiveness, for understanding, for peace. You knew my heart was tired, and You healed it. You amaze me and enamor me. Please continue to help me understand the enormity of Your love, even though I know it’s impossible. Thank You for protection in Your warm arms. You understand me better than I know myself, and I could not survive without You. I know You will make everything work out, and I thank You for that promise. AMEN.

—–answer to the end of my last post that said “God, rescue me”——

The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me, I will protect those who trust in My name.” -Psalm 91:14 (NLT)

Roller-coasters

I love roller-coasters. They are so much fun, and when I went to Busch Gardens this summer, it was like roller-coaster heaven. This past week and half though has been a different kind of roller-coaster. It’s cliché or whatever, but I don’t really care. Emotional drainage. Smiles. Confusion. Dancing. Nervousness. Anxiety. Tears. Up. Down. Up. Down.

The Incredible Hulk @ Universal Studios

Inside, I’m conflicted. It even shows in my blog posts from the past week. I’m overwhelmed with feelings or I feel drained of feelings. I’m in the clouds or I’m in the lowest valley. My thoughts are clear or my thoughts are all over the place. I know what I need to do or I have no idea what the next step is. Throughout all of these crazy ups and downs since last Monday that are still continuing, I’m trying so hard to look to Him. It’s almost like when I feel like I figured something out, another issue pops up. I don’t know what’s happening right now, and I don’t even know how to feel. I feel so vulnerable. At the same time, I almost feel strengthened if I think about why I am having problems.

I know this is all very vague, but it’s mainly because I don’t even know what’s going on. It just seems like everything’s falling apart. However, I know He’s holding my world in His hands. I also would be in much worse shape if I didn’t have the friends that surround me, who have been there when I needed them the most. I almost lost it during gospel choir recitation because all of the lyrics were hitting home. I didn’t feel like singing them, but I listened. I know He is able, and that He wants to rescue me. I KNOW He is there for me, but…it’s still really hard. If I may ask, if you pray, please do so for me. It would mean so much.

God, rescue me.

Inspiration

Gospel Choir, the best class ever, has been such a wonderful experience. So much so that I plan on taking it until I graduate. 2-3 hours a week of singing to Jesus counts for credit? Of course I’m going to love it. This has been my first choir, and I’m not letting go of it! Our concert is coming up, and it’s super exciting. I love singing about and to Jesus with 200 other people of different faith backgrounds. If it was possible to get me more pumped for our concert, the children’s concert yesterday did just that. It was so rewarding and fun, and watching the little kids & their parents sing and dance with us exemplified the power of music.

Not only is the concept of this class great, but our director, David Coleman, is so gifted and inspiring. He directs tons of choirs, and Tufts Third Day Gospel Choir is just one lucky enough to have him. He teaches, shares, and sings about God’s love, and I love it. I’m sorry if it was well-known, but I didn’t know that both the itsy-bitsy-spider and if-you’re-happy-and-you-know-it songs were children’s gospel songs. And two of our songs, He is Able and I Need You to Survive, actually sound like Right Here Waiting and the Barney song, respectively. Who knew?

What he said yesterday was…truth. What I grasped: The Holy Spirit works through gospel music. Whether singing in this choir or listening to certain songs (like I Believe I Can Fly), that feeling you get…that’s Him. All music, from hip-hop to country, is spiritual, but not necessarily the same Spirit [...] We can’t take today for granted, because we just don’t know if we’ll have tomorrow. David treats each concert like it’s his last, because it could very well be (avoiding morbidity). What we need to remember is that there’s no need to worry, because He will provide. We should have a great time clapping our hands for Him, no matter how many people come to the concert, because He’s the man.

Tufts Third Day Gospel Choir: you want to come.

If you aren’t in Boston, you should definitely watch us live stream by going to http://as.tufts.edu/music and clicking on Tufts Virtual Music Festival. We’re the first concert to do so at Tufts!  We’re that cool. November 19th at 8pm (eastern).

If you ARE in Boston, get a $7 ticket. If you’re a Tufts student, TAKE THE CLASS and come.

COME COME COME hear us sing this song! You shall be blessed. You won’t be able to sit still